Why Having My Eyebrows Tattooed Has Made My Trichotillomania Worse


You might know that earlier this year, I was lucky enough to have my eyebrows tattooed by the wonderful Sian Deller. It was one of the best beauty experiences of my life (if not the best), and have not regretted it since. After deliberating for ages and weighing up the pros and cons about a thousand times, the opportunity presented itself in January and I took the plunge. I haven’t looked back. Although I love every single thing about them, I did want to write this post just to open the discussion with other trichotillomania sufferers who have had their eyebrows tattooed or are thinking about getting them done. Since having them tattooed, my hair pulling has been severely aggravated. I pick and pull at my eyebrows so much more than I did before and am aware that it has happened to a few other trichsters as well. So, is it still worth getting your eyebrows tattooed?





Before I had the semi-permanent treatment, my eyebrows were totally bald. With nothing there whatsoever, I had pulled every last hair and had to do the onerous task of attempting to draw them on from scratch every morning. It was a particularly bad spell in my trichotillomania journey; I often find that I either get obsessed with pulling my eyebrows or my eyelashes, never both at the same time, and early this year it was my eyebrows’ turn to take one for the team. I was sick of drawing them on with no guidelines whatsoever. I was sick of having wonky brows, fake-looking brows, brows which made it clear that there was something wrong with me. The semi-permanent micro-blading technique which tattoos on individual hair was the solution I had been waiting for all this time. The results were incredible, and I still love my new eyebrows just as much 6 months down the line. Not one part of me regrets it, and I still feel indebted to Sian Deller for transforming my life so much through one small treatment. I feel empowered, confident and, dare I say it, as though I look like a normal human. I’m no longer paranoid about my brows, my appearance or my trich; I wake up and my brows are so instantly perfect that I forget they are not my real eyebrow hairs. But, in terms of the actual hair-pulling, it is both the best and worst thing that has happened to me.


I probably pull my eyebrows out more than I ever have. It’s unrestricted pulling- uninhibited. The damage caused by trichotillomania doesn’t scare me anymore. Having them tattooed has made me fearless. Beforehand, the crushing part which drove me to try and control the urges more next time was seeing my face in the mirror and falling apart at the glimpse of baldness. The thought of having to draw them on from scratch, which you may know is one of the most difficult make-up skills to perfect. The thought that my eyebrows would look awful until they started to grow back, and the fear that everyone would be staring at me and my awful attempts at covering the damage. We all want to look nice, and this was the only thing which stopped me pulling; if I pull, I won’t look nice. But with tattoos there, it is a constant cover-up. I can pull and pick away to my heart’s content, knowing that there will be no visible damage. It protects me from outside judgement and feelings of shame, but it also facilitates the ability to pull.




Would you do something if you knew there was a strong risk involved, a risk that can very likely become a reality? Perhaps, but you are probably more inclined to say no. Would you do that same thing if the likelihood of risk was minimised, if you had a constant safety net following you around? Yes. It’s all about the consequences of your actions. I pull every spiky little eyebrow that even dares to make itself known to my face- I rip it out before it even becomes a fully-fledged hair. Why? Because I can. Because the tattoos are there to permanently cover any damage. There are no visible consequences to my destructive actions. Because I know my eyebrows will still be perfect and I’ll still look normal, I indulge in my urges more than I ever would have before.


Clearly, this is not a good thing in terms of recovering from trichotillomania and trying not to pull my own hair out. But, it allows me to pull my hair without having the negative, self-loathing, shame and guilt afterwards. I still have trichotillomania, but I don’t hate myself or the way I look anymore- and surely this is a good thing? We all know the emotions attached to trich are the most destructive part of the disorder, so by taking this away, the physical damage doesn’t seem so bad (especially when it’s automatically covered up anyway). I know my eyebrows will fade and I will have to find a way to control the hair-pulling urges, but for now, I’m quite enjoying my safety net. Getting them tattooed was still an amazing decision that has helped me deal with the emotional side of trichotillomania far more than I could have before- it’s just a shame that an increase in pulling has come with it. It doesn’t bother me because there’s no visible damage, but it’s food for thought if you are considering a semi-permanent treatment for trichotillomania.


Have you pulled more since getting your eyebrows tattooed? Does this make you regret the treatment, or would you do it all again if you had the chance?  



Pretty and Polished


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23 comments

  1. Are you on Facebook? I don't use anything else but this is the first blog that makes me feel like I have met someone like me!

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    1. Thanks so much for the lovely comment! My Facebook is https://facebook.com/prettyandpolishedblog or there's a direct link through my social media icons at the top of the page x

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    2. I agree. I feel like I'm the only person who has ever done this. It makes me feel good knowing I'm not the only one struggling. I'm microblading my eyebrows on Sunday. I know this will change my life.

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    3. I have to agree with you ladies! I just got my brows microbladed last Thursday. Knowing that I don't 'have' to pick at my face makes me want to pick and pluck so much more!! It is so disheartening to me. My first problem was that when I went to have them done I had a done some damage to my skin from picking a few nights prior, my nerves were just shot. For me it's always been if my face is red or there is any flaws I have to try to fix them. Knowing that by trying to fix them only makes the issue worse. Fast forward to today..my nice looking eyebrows are are peeling away because of the healing skin from picking coming off. I feel like I wasted loads of money for them to come right off or that my skin is too damaged to successfully have the procedure work. Any help or advise for me?? I am feeling very defeated

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    4. I have to agree with you ladies! I just got my brows microbladed last Thursday. Knowing that I don't 'have' to pick at my face makes me want to pick and pluck so much more!! It is so disheartening to me. My first problem was that when I went to have them done I had a done some damage to my skin from picking a few nights prior, my nerves were just shot. For me it's always been if my face is red or there is any flaws I have to try to fix them. Knowing that by trying to fix them only makes the issue worse. Fast forward to today..my nice looking eyebrows are are peeling away because of the healing skin from picking coming off. I feel like I wasted loads of money for them to come right off or that my skin is too damaged to successfully have the procedure work. Any help or advise for me?? I am feeling very defeated

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  3. My daughter and I both suffer. I didn't until I was an adult, she's 12 and about to go through the hard years at school. She pulls her eyelashes. I pull eyelashes and brows. I have used makeup to hide and recently decided it was time to learn more, mostly for her. I hope I can find this blog again, I think I just got lucky. I'd tour on Facebook as well it would be wonderful to follow you.Thank you for being brave, for all of us.

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    1. Thanks for your comment and sorry to hear that you and your daughter also suffer from trich. There are so many ways you can cover it with makeup, just experiment with different products. My Facebook is https://m.facebook.com/prettyandpolishedblog or there is also a link to it in my social media icons at the top of the page x

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  4. My daughter and I both suffer. I didn't until I was an adult, she's 12 and about to go through the hard years at school. She pulls her eyelashes. I pull eyelashes and brows. I have used makeup to hide and recently decided it was time to learn more, mostly for her. I hope I can find this blog again, I think I just got lucky. I'd tour on Facebook as well it would be wonderful to follow you.Thank you for being brave, for all of us.

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  5. The exact same happened to me! Before the tattooing I had slim, but noticeable eyebrows. Now if I turn to the side people ask me did I shave my eyebrows off because I got them tattooed. Such a pain!! I tried to let the tattooing fade, in hope that it would help, but it hasn't in the slightest. In a way the tattooing lures you into false sense of security, it makes you think that you have eyebrows but everyone else can tell that you don't. I will probably get more tattooing done, just to keep up the illusion...or to people standing far away lol. Thank you for posting!! It's reassuring to know I'm not the only one.

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    1. I get what you mean, but the tattooing for me was far better than the alternative of rubbish make-up and no eyebrows whatsoever. I don't think tattooing is as noticeable as you may think!

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  6. I got my brows done about a year ago, now they've faded into almost nothing. How did you keep up with yours? Did the constant hair pulling damage the tattoo? I cleaned mine properly and took care of them, but now I'm even more embarrassed for going through all of the anxiety and tears to get them tattooed to be left with nothing. But then again,I had a haRd time not pulling off the layers of ink and skin that peel during the healing process. Any insight would help because I'm considering doing it all over again!

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    1. I had mine done 9 months ago now and they are starting to fade quite a lot. I managed to leave them while they were healing, but have pulled at them since and am sure this has permanently effected the quality of the tattoo. I'm looking to get mine topped up at the start of next year. Even without pulling, they recommend a top up after a year as it is natural for them to fade (it is semi permanent after all). As long as you have the rough shape left I guess you can still fill them in easily, but if you feel more confident with them tattooed I would definitely recommend going back and getting a top up x

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  7. i am debating having the tattoos. i dont brlieve i will ever wuit my 30 yr habit, but from an esteem point of view, i believe it's time. i have never thought the tattooing would deter me, but i can definitely see how the habit would be unchecked, with no fear of that my tinkering would remove the drawn on brows.

    thanks for everyone's honesty

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    1. Yes, that's a good way to put it- "unchecked". I didn't have to account for my pulling as there was no visible consequences. I am having a top up soon though- the boost to my confidence matters far more to me than the actual pulling.

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  8. Hi there! I am so so glad I stumbled upon your blog. I am 22 years old and have been suffering with Trich only since about last July-August. I have no idea why this started for me, especially at that time. Nobody knows about it except for my husband and my therapist, so it is so good to find you- someone I can relate to! My eyebrows are my only problem area, and they are very odd looking at this point. It is so frustrating trying to fill them in every time I step out of my house, I am a full time student so I am always having keep up with what my eyebrows look like in public :/ Thank you for being so honest and open about this, I can't imagine putting myself out there the way you have with this blog.. But it helps people like me SO much. Hope you are well, your new brows look great by the way! Definitely convinced me to at least look for a similar service near me in the U.S!

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    1. Hi Brianna, thank you for your comment (and apologies for the delay in replying). I'm so glad this little site has helped in some way and thank you for your kind words! Being in public and getting urges to pull is the worst...I always carry around a few brow pencils just in case I slip up, give into it and need to quickly cover up! There are ways to use makeup to cover and make it look natural but now I've had them tattooed I will never look back. You can't beat it, in my opinion! Definitely worth looking at some semi-permanent makeup services near you.

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  9. Hi Sophie,
    I too have suffered with Trichotillomania (both lashes and brows) since childhood (age 11) and have spent years trying to hide it and years trying to stop pulling. I am now in my mid 40's and want to let other folks with the same problem know that there is a very strong likelihood that eventually the eyebrow hair and eyelashes will stop growing (because of the trauma to the hair shaft/bulb by repeated pulling). I noticed that in my mid 30's, my brows and lashes started to thin and become patchy and by my late 30's they were gone almost completely. So now, I have to resort to drawing them both in and use false lashes frequently. I wish that someone had told me when I was younger that this could happen (that everything would stop growing completely). I wish I had stopped pulling when I had the chance. So now I try to tell everyone I know that has Trichotillomania--do whatever you can to stop as early as you can!!! Having to apply make up every day and in such a time consuming way has altered my way of life. I rarely go swimming anymore, don't go out in public as much as I would if I had natural brows/lashes (too much hassle), don't feel as attractive (which has affected my relationship with my husband), opt out of picture taking (even family portraits with my kids sometimes). It negatively affected my life a lot when I was younger but is even worse now that I have kids because now it affects them too (I don't take them swimming, go to the playground, or arrange playdates nearly as often as I would if I was unencumbered by the whole make up/eyelash/eyebrow situation--all because of the hassle of putting on the make up or false lashes and because I look terrible even with the make up and so I avoid social situations when I can. I have thought about doing the microblading but all the pictures I see it looks pretty fake, especially for blondes (like me)--it always ends up looking too dark/too orange-ish/harsh. You are a very beautiful woman and I wish you the best with your Trichotillomania. I think that the microblading looks pretty good on you but I hate to break it to you that as gorgeous as you are, it still looks fairly unnatural and not nearly as attractive as natural brows. I tell you this in hopes to help you stop pulling, not to make you feel bad. If you are still able to grow your brows back, I want to strongly encourage you to do whatever you can to do so. It is not worth losing them and take it from me, you will never look as good with tattooed eyebrows as you will with your natural brows.

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    1. Hi Anon, thanks for reading the post. Sorry to hear you've had trich for so long and the effect it's had on your life.

      I get what you're saying, but I think losing the hair altogether is already a fear of trich sufferers...I for one have been scared of this since I was little. I have no doubt that people with this disorder do everything they can to try and stop- I for one have tried countless things and therapies... unfortunately that's just the nature of the disorder. Just because I don't beat myself up about it, it doesn't mean I'm not trying.

      I think your comment about my eyebrows was a tad unnecessary. I personally love them (and that's all that matters). Telling me they look unnatural isn't going to make me stop pulling them- as a trich sufferer surely you would know this. I would try anything to get rid of trich and grow the hair back, but unfortunately it isn't that easy.

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  10. Hey! I’m so glad I stumbled upon this, but I have a quick question.

    I’m planning to possibly get my brows microbladed, but I wasn’t sure if you can apply castor oil to your brows afterwards, not right away, but after a couple of weeks. Probably consistently, as in applying castor oil every day so my brows could grow, maybe underneath the pigment? I currently haven’t got any brows, so I was thinking if I could have them microbladed, but keep applying castor oil so they can grow as well.

    Will it make the pigmentation fade over time?

    Thanks, and I wish you best of luck! Your brows look great microbladed!

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    1. Hi Aasiyah! Thanks for your comment. When you get your brows microbladed, you cannot touch them for 2 weeks (even with your fingers or getting them wet!). This gives them time to heal. As such, I wouldn't recommend putting the oil on them. Your beauty therapist will be able to advise you as to when will be safe to apply it again, but I would give it 3-4 weeks just to be safe! It's a short amount of time in the grand scheme of things and well worth the wait.

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  11. I've had permanent eyeliner done. I love it and my eyelash pulling has greatly diminished. I think this is in part to not being worried about rubbing my eyes, or scratching along the lash line, where I can get really really itchy. It used to be that I had to apply eyeliner every day and rubbing or scratching would remove it. Pulling on (out) the lashes soothed the itching without removing the eyeliner. Now I can rub, scratch, put in eyedrops and, because it's permanent, I don't worry about my eyeliner disappearing and the world knowing I'm an eyelash puller. Granted, I do still pull, but it's so much less than before. For me, saving up for the procedure was totally worth it and, to echo the author, I’m no longer paranoid about my eyelashes, my appearance or my trich.

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    1. Hello! Thanks so much for your comment and for sharing your experience with permanent eyeliner make-up. That's amazing that it has helped you so much :)

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