The Little Things: Restrictions of Trichotillomania

Many people may look at those with trichotillomania and think, 'it's only hair, get over it'. The sad truth is that it's far more than just that. It can be emotionally crippling, psychologically damaging, as well as restrict the little joys in life which most people don't even think twice about doing. I have recently started a new course of therapy (CBT, or cognitive behavioural therapy) and have been forced for the first time to really think about what life without trich would be like. As a bit of motivation, here is a small list of things which will become possible once we finally get rid of the illness for good.

1. Going swimming. I love swimming! I may not be very good at it, but wallowing in the water for a bit of time has therapeutic results like no other form of exercise. Why can't I go? The fear of others seeing me without make-up. The fear of the water washing away my eye make-up and eyebrow make-up, exposing my lack of lashes or brows. Sad, but true.

2. Staying over a friend's house. With my uni friends living all over the country in the summer, I would love to go visit them, meet their friends and family, and explore how they get along in their hometowns. When it comes to kipping on the sofa, however, how are we meant to sleep sound without our makeup rubbing off in the night, or have others see you when you take it off at night? A tiny thing which causes great paranoia.

3. Going to the gym. I've been aiming to get into shape for ages now, and a new fitness regime has been meaning to start tomorrow for the past 2 years. You just can't go to the gym in full make-up with your eyelashes glued and brows drawn on without getting some funny looks. But you can't go and work out make-up free without even more stares! Plus wiping your brow when you get a bit sweaty is out of the question unless you want to end up with one eyebrow. Am I right?

4. Walking out of the house without make-up. This is one thing I cannot wait to be able to do. Even those with lashes etc may cringe at the thought, but I so want to be able to step out and show my lashes and perfectly shaped eyebrows off to the world.

5. Put my extensive mascara collection to use. Lord only knows how much I've spent on mascara in hope that I might, just might, get the opportunity to use it. I guess optimism does cost you! That Benefit mascara is just calling out to be used....

This WILL be used soon

6. Not be paranoid when making eye contact. Ahh to not have to have shifty eyes when talking to someone. Ahh not to be paranoid that they're staring at the fact that my false eyelashes are peeling off at the edge and creeping down my face. Ahh to not have to think, 'CRAP, HAVE THEY NOTICED?' all the time. You get the idea.

7. Being happy with the way I look. Yeah, this is a bit deep. Whilst I may have accepted that I have trich, and have gradually grown to accept myself and the way I look, there's still a part of me that looks in the mirror and wishes I looked different. Lashes are the key to happiness, of course.

8. Extra time in bed. Who doesn't love a lie-in? Who doesn't just love sleep in general?! The thought of not having to set my alarm 40 minutes earlier in the morning in order to make time for drawing on brows and sticking on false lashes is a fantastic one. Plus, those bags might disappear from underneath my eyes...

So these are my little snippets of motivation to finally get rid of this disorder once and for all. What are the little things that you can't wait to do?

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