Are There Good Elements of Having Trichotillomania?

A combination of having trichotillomania for such a long time and coming up with creative discussion content around the topic of the disorder has led me to the conclusion that trichotillomania cannot be viewed in terms of 'good' and 'bad'. Yes, it can suck to have it, but it doesn't mean the disorder is 'bad', per se (just like it isn't good). Instead, I now just see it as a part of me- a component of who I am- which has good and bad elements weaved through it but isn't exclusively either of those things. We hear a lot of the bad stuff, read about people's struggles online and often think most about the negative elements to it perhaps because the bad affects us the most in our day to day lives through our emotional well-being and physical appearance. The bad is more prevalent in our battle with trich, but do you ever stop to think about the good elements to it?

I'm in quite a good place with trichotillomania at the moment (and perhaps this is why I am reflecting more on the positives). I have a full set of eyelashes and have barely gone to pull them at all in the 3-4 weeks they've been there. My bottom lashes and my eyebrows are a different story altogether, but I am so incredibly happy with my win with regards to the top lashes that my ongoing struggle with the others has almost become a non-issue. Applying mascara every day is just the most glorious thing- anyone who doesn't have hair loss will never understand just what an amazing feeling it is to simply coat that mascara wand through lashes that are your own! I am so proud of myself for getting to this stage, and for maintaining it for almost a month so far, as it's the best I've done for probably 2 years!

This is one of the good parts of trichotillomania I'm talking about. Those moments when you get such an overwhelming sense of accomplishment, pride and happiness. Those 'I've actually bloody done it!' moments that don't come by very often, where you give yourself a glimpse of what you are capable of. I am well aware that this isn't the end of my journey; I probably will pull my lashes out again, but for now I am bathing in the glory of having a full set and feeling damn good about myself. When I don't have lashes, I try not to let it get me down and I don't see having lashes as being something that is too important to me, but that's not to say it doesn't feel amazing when you do conquer trich- even if it is only for a couple of months.

It might sound silly, but there has always been something that has stuck with me from back in the day when I studied Philosophy & Ethics at A Level. That is, there can't be good without bad, and there can't be bad without good; they go together and you need the one to be able to compare and define the other by. This is how I see trichotillomania. You need those bad elements- the baldness, the evenings crying out of guilt and frustration, the lack of self-esteem- in order to experience the good parts. You need to have had the experience of pulling your lashes out in order to feel the joy that watching them grow back brings. You need to go through those incredibly low, dark moments in order to be able to look back and think 'I survived that and will do again'. The bad times with trich serve to make you a stronger person, and I see that as ultimately a good thing (even if it doesn't seem that way at the time).